just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Naked. naked and bneed help.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
