I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
