Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
