If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
