found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
