She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
