fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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