Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Its about making memories worth repressing
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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