talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
