My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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