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Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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