I want to make a zoo with you.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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