Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
