Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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