after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
