If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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