I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
