Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
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you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
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thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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