lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You smell like stripper and shame
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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