My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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