all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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