Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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