I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
