is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
