It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
