SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
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Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
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Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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