Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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