bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
