That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
