I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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