god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
