Your face is a jimmy john
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Less talking, more tequila
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize