Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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