Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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