if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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