Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
