My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
