It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize