Yo dont text me then not text me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
