I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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