I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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