Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Did you pee in the oven last night??
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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