Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
