"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize