my sisters under your porch take her home
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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