Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
