It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
