i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
