We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
