there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just cropdusted the office
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
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I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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