Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i out mim tonsoeep
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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