upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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