lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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