You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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