Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
